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Fire in my belly
Repressed anger and IBS
Being angry, without getting angry
I remember having a disagreement with my husband and then going for a walk with him and my son. We each had a jolly time with our son, yet walked the whole way without speaking to each other. Even though we were silent, we were still fighting: silent fighting.
Even though I wasn’t arguing with my husband during our walk, I felt angry and was arguing with myself about it. I was obsessively thinking, going round in circles and creating resentment, whilst feeling tense and knotted up in my gut.
If we avoid conflict to keep the peace, we start a war inside ourselves.
The cost of keeping the peace
If we have been on the receiving end of anger that felt unsafe, it is very natural to believe that anger is destructive and harmful. As children, we may have been told that anger is bad or been punished for it. We may see conflict as a bad thing, if we have not experienced healthy conflict. We may have learned over our lives that it is best to keep the peace, at all costs. When we have shown anger, we may have felt guilt or shame.
The cost of suppressing anger is very real. It can have a range of effects on our health and fulfilment:
- We can feel an undercurrent of irritability where anger lies dormant within us.
- We may feel unable to speak our truths and therefore don’t always feel safe.
- We can feel like we’re walking on eggshells in our relationships, trying to avoid conflict.
- We can lose connection to ourselves. Our emotions are an inner compass, from our deepest self.
- Our love, hope, joy and passion can dull down. It’s hard to selectively shut off feelings.
- Anger is our power, it can be difficult to be assertive if we haven’t made friends with it.
- Physically we can experience clenched fists, tight jaw, high blood pressure and a range of digestive symptoms, leading to IBS.
When in your life have you kept quiet to keep the peace?
The link between IBS and anger
Many studies have connected IBS with anger.
One study compared people with IBS with those without any digestive issues. The study showed that when people with IBS are exposed to anger stressors, their colon activity increased significantly. This study showed that people with IBS have an increased gut response to anger situations.
Other studies show that:
- “Those with IBS have an increased response to stress”. (Which is also an indication of past trauma).
- “Strong emotions like stress, anxiety, and depression trigger chemicals in the brain that turn on pain signals in your gut that may cause your large intestine to react.”
- “Different types of stress play important roles in the onset and modulation of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) symptoms.”
Other studies show that:
- “Those with IBS have an increased response to stress”. (Which is also an indication of past trauma).
- “Strong emotions like stress, anxiety, and depression trigger chemicals in the brain that turn on pain signals in your gut that may cause your large intestine to react.”
- “Different types of stress play important roles in the onset and modulation of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) symptoms.”
Many studies have connected IBS with anger.
One study compared people with IBS with those without any digestive issues. The study showed that when people with IBS are exposed to anger stressors, their colon activity increased significantly. This study showed that people with IBS have an increased gut response to anger situations.
Other studies show that:
- “Those with IBS have an increased response to stress”. (Which is also an indication of past trauma).
- “Strong emotions like stress, anxiety, and depression trigger chemicals in the brain that turn on pain signals in your gut that may cause your large intestine to react.”
- “Different types of stress play important roles in the onset and modulation of irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) symptoms.”
A fire in our belly
When we have residual or old anger in our gut, it goes through phases of being awake or dormant. Situations in our life today can reawaken old anger. This leaves us prone to irritability and reactivity. We can repress it, but if the smoke is there, the fire can be easily stoked.
When anger awakens it kicks off a range of stress-related processes in our bodies and has a strong link to fluctuating IBS symptoms.
Making friends with anger
Understanding that anger is normal and healthy is a great first step. Remembering that we are always doing our best gives us a compassionate approach. We can feel kindness for ourselves, we may have been carrying a heavy burden of stuck anger in our bodies for years.
Anger can be a layer over other emotions. We may find once we get in touch with anger that we also discover sadness, shame or fear. If we have suppressed anger, it can be common that we suppress other emotions too.
Connecting to our anger – a daily loving practice
We can begin to regain our emotional life, to own our anger and power. Take just 5 minutes per day to check in with your feelings by following these gentle guidelines. Go towards anger gently and safely, with love.Understanding that anger is normal and healthy is a great first step. Remembering that we are always doing our best gives us a compassionate approach. We can feel kindness for ourselves, we may have been carrying a heavy burden of stuck anger in our bodies for years.
Anger can be a layer over other emotions. We may find once we get in touch with anger that we also discover sadness, shame or fear. If we have suppressed anger, it can be common that we suppress other emotions too.
Connecting to our anger – a daily loving practice
We can begin to regain our emotional life, to own our anger and power. Take just 5 minutes per day to check in with your feelings by following these gentle guidelines. Go towards anger gently and safely, with love.
Support to release repressed anger
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There are several options: a free guide to explore your root cause at home and various plans to work with me to discover your root cause.
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